My Heart

I don't believe in deities, but if there is one, He must have considered me blessed to write us into the stars together, to give me you.

You met me in the darkest days, when hurt and fear and sadness filled my soul slick oil coating everything I was. I made my thoughts into briars around my heart and I fashioned my words into spears to keep you out to drive you away. I thought that if I tore out my heart myself, it would hurt less than letting you in.

But you didn't go.

You took the bullets I hurled at you with compassion, with love, and you gave me only love in return. You gave kindness to my anger, love to my bitterness. You took the hurt I handed you and in your hands it became love, love unconditional, and you didn't go.

And in that love, you gave me what I needed - space. You didn't try to force my broken pieces back together, you gave me space and love to heal myself. Your kindness helped me fashion the swords of my words into ploughshares, your compassion let me take down the thorns around my heart. In the space you gave, I began to pick up my broken pieces and fit them together again, and you gave me love to fill the gaps.

You can see that I've changed since you met me, but I don't think you'll ever understand how much you changed me. You gave me a safe and steady love, a persistent love, an unconditional love that never left me, and it touched places in my heart that had been broken all my life. You didn't try to fix me, but gave me space to fix myself, and by doing that, you saved me from self-destruction. I say the words “I love you,” but you were the one who loved me first, who changed my scars into constellations and brightened the night of my pain with a million shining stars.